we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
