I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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