She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
