She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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