my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
