I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
