ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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