Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
