do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
