I've blown a few things in my day
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
