so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
