He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
