is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
