I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
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