How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
