a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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