I showed him my bush... on skype.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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