You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
