Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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