i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
