Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize