Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
