Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
