normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
