I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
