you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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