Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
