i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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