Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
