Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
