I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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