She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
