You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
