GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
