Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
