im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
