this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
