did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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