So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
