Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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