You're a womanizer and a bitch.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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