He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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