yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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