you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
