Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
