Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
