Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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