soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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