Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
