Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize