I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They took my balls.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
