hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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