Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
