Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
