i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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