the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
