Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
