Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
