two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
