We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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