Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize