We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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