I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I didn't notice because vodka
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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