i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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