well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
