the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
