Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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