she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
