Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize