No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
